No Rubber Ducky Needed.

I am engulfed in ivory from head to toe. I am comforted, I am warm. I can breathe, I can unravel. I find solace in the infinite darkness of my eyelids. The white foams and covers me. This four foot basin is my refuge. It is my escape.

I am alone. I am quiet. I can smile. I can cry. I can think. I can reflect. I can decide...release.

Where's Waldo?

Entering onto 290 I'm feeling good...I've got the radio preset, the forms in the back seat, mirrors adjusted, and the GPS ready to go. It's my second week back with Red Cross and I'm going out on another mission. Three stops to make and then I can head home for some much needed relaxation.

Things are going smoothly until I hit traffic that sludges through the road construction on my way out to Yorkville. What should only be a 45 minutes drive turns into an hour and half. After driving around for another 20 minutes I find my location...Yorkville jail. The trailer that I need to stock is hidden in the back and surrounded by gates, which I find out about 15 minutes after arriving. The police officer escorts me to the back and I line the golden key with the threads of the lock and find that it doesn't align at all...I don't have the right key.

I hop back into the Explorer and race to the next site in Romeoville. Success is found with my little golden key and I'm off to Glen Ellyn. I'm in a race for time...night is approaching just as quickly as the sun is setting. The foreboding clouds are rolling in and clashing with the light. Across the fields of corn I can see the fight between the brooding clouds and electric blue skies. I need to get back before it gets dark.

I finally arrive in Glen Ellyn after a few wrong exits and several U-turns later only to drive in circles around the College of DuPage. The trailer is not here. I either have the wrong address or someone has played a cruel joke and moved the trailer. I give up. I am exhausted, I am unbelievably hangry (hungry+angry), I have to pee, and I'm sick of driving. I turn around and head back home. After 4 1/2 hours of driving I have nothing to show for except 1 trailer stocked with forms.

My little corner of Chicago

With Kris in San Diego, Jenna in Canada, and summer school ending, this week I have found plenty of time to myself. Plenty of time to read, lay by the pool, sit on the couch, watch movies, and write. While these are much needed activities I didn't ever think it could be so difficult living alone.

I have been so lonely in the city this week and I think it's because I don't feel like any part of Chicago is my own. I have lived here for two years, yet I haven't allowed myself to warm up to the city and I've desperately longed for a spot of my own.

Well, on Tuesday while on another adventure with Ian, I found my spot and now I am here enjoying one of the most beautiful days this summer.

My spot has a perfect view of the city...from a distance, just the way I like it. It's a spot away from the masses, noise, and towering buildings. Here I can remove myself from Chicago and rest in the serenity of the breeze off of the lake and the canopy of trees that cover me. I love the freedom I experience here. There are fountains everywhere and trees and grass. I can read, I can write, I can draw, and most of all I can enjoy the silence. It's a comforting silence...unlike the silence I have been encountering at the apartment.

There is a small portion of sand and lake occupied by only a few. Here I can imagine that the lake is the endless ocean. Here I can be somewhere else for awhile.

I have finally found my one and only escape from Illinois without stepping onto a plane.

Say.

Not the biggest John Mayer fan, but I am loving this song.