Falling In and Out of Emotions.

Today was a perfect Thai fall day.

Soaking in the cooler temperature (75 degrees rather than 85 degrees) Nikki and I went on a long bike ride through the countryside of Doi Saket. It felt just like a September afternoon. One where the crisp breeze slowly begins to blanket the warmth of summer. The sun descends just a bit earlier, the smell of leaves and smoke fill the air, and the sounds of banana leaves crunch and crack underneath my tires...I felt like I was 7 years old again, coming home from a day of school.. riding bikes with my best friend..making it home just in time for dinner. (sigh).

It was a sweet and sour kind of perfect Thai fall day. Memories of the past. Feelings of now. Slightly breaking down about the future. Sadness. Happiness. Laughter. Tears.

I cannot distinguish the specific changes within myself, but I know they are there. It's an overall transformation that I feel inside. I fear that moving back to the States I will lose this part of me. In a way I know that I have to lose this part of me. In a way I wish I could forget the friends I have made here...maybe then I wouldn't miss them so much. In a way I never want to let go of the memory of them.

I'm choosing the latter...I have made a promise to them to come back and Thais always keep their word. So, this is my reminder of them. Of Thailand. Of the magic I feel here. Of the beauty. Of the people. Of who I am when I'm here.