Stuck in Limbo.

(From Sunday)

As a student living in Thailand my visa requires me to leave the country every 90 days…why this is I’m not quite sure. All of the students/interns have left the country to vacation or intern, except for Nikki, Beth, and I. We are currently on holiday near the island of Koh Chang (very close to Cambodia), so rather than planning a separate weekend to go get our visa stamped, we decided to go today.

Streaks of rain and the blurs of green raced past my window as I enjoyed an hour with my i-pod, my eyes slowly blinking until they shut out the light completely. When I opened them again we were at the border. The man behind the window stamped, stapled, and signed my little leather bound travel album, passing me off to a few Cambodian guys.

We were hustled down the road, past the ocean, and through the gate to the immigration office. They took our passports and told us to sit down. Ten minutes later the guy in the white shirt is telling me that we need to pay 1,200 ($36), so I look to Beth and Nikki for the money…Crap! We forgot the money with Adisara, who is back at the van. One of the guys told us it was okay to walk back to the borderline, but we couldn’t leave. They tell us to hurry because, apparently it’s going to rain soon…yes, it was cloudy, but how did they know it was going to rain…we’d be fine.

We arrived back by the gate and couldn’t see our van so I suggested we call Adisara…Nikki and I are both out of airtime minutes, and Beth’s phone doesn’t work at all. Crap, again! Our eyes are peeled for Adisara. Nothing. Going back to Thailand cannot happen until we have the proper stamps and paperwork and entering Cambodia is not possible until we have the right amount of cash. We are stuck in between two countries; we are stuck in no man’s land.

Then, by some chance, I spot our driver walking back to the van and we ask him to call Ai. In the mean time it begins to drizzle. He says that she’s at lunch and will be over soon. So we wait. A drizzle becomes a steady rain, which turns into a torrential downpour. We all huddle under the immigration roof telling ourselves it will stop raining soon…it rains harder. Finally after about 30+ minutes the rain slows back to a drizzle and we see the beautiful Adisara walking to the van. After calling her name a few times she sees us, and we get 4,000 baht to cover us all.

It’s dejavu all over again as we walk down the road, past the ocean, and through the gate to the immigration office. Passports are stamped and photographs are taken, we are in Cambodia!...and there’s absolutely nothing around. The people seem abrasive and I’m already homesick for Thailand. Fifteen minutes later and we’re back at the immigration office…they lose my yellow immunization card and look confused when I show them Beth’s copy of it. We give up trying to get it back and I happily cross the border into Thailand. HOME ATLAST! I never thought I’d be so happy to see the smiling faces of the Thai people. It was good to be back.

As my love for Thailand continues to flourish the idea of moving back to Chicago becomes less and less appealing. The beauty of the land and the people is something I’m not looking forward to giving up…I absolutely love everything Thai.

Halfway Around the World and I've Never Felt Closer to My Love.

On Friday Nikki and I spent the day/night on the island of Koh Chang. While on this brief overnight stay I realized that the topic of relationships has been coming up quite often. We spent much time with the manager of a restaurant on Lonely Beach (which seems all too fitting) and he shared many stories of heartache and loneliness.

My own thoughts have been drawn to this topic after learning about the prostitution that occurs here and spending time with Thais my own age. I have been wondering what a true Thai relationship looks like for someone who is in their twenties/thirties…I still don’t think I have the answer. From what I have observed, though, they appear to be taken pretty loosely. Distance plays a key factor. If the boyfriend/girlfriend lives far away that leaves room to have the freedom of someone who is single.

When I tell most guys that I do indeed have a boyfriend, their first question is, “Where does he live/is he Thai?” I reply, “Chicago.” It seems that when I say that, they take it as I’m available, but as soon as I tell them, “My boyfriend is coming to Thailand in 1 month” they start to back off.

After hearing these dejected stories for San, I felt extremely bad for him. The reason I felt so bad was because he has not seen what a relationship should look like. He sees boyfriends and girlfriends fighting, cheating, and breaking up as well as experiencing it first hand himself. Girls traveling through on holiday are out for a good time and a one-night stand and end up using and abusing him. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to live on an island where you are continually saying goodbye to people. As I sat there and listen to his stories I couldn’t help but to think about my own relationship and how grateful I am for it. I have an amazing boyfriend who supports me, trusts me, and loves me. While distance may be what destroys the relationships of some, it has only made mine stronger.

They be Jammin'

Let me tell you about the music scene in Thailand....it's AWESOME.

From Reggae bands to Jazz ensembles Chiang Mai has it all. On Tuesday night Nikki and I were invited out to the North Gate Jazz club.

North Gate is about as small as a cardboard box, creating an intimate setting for listeners and band members. The large red mural behind the band immediately catches my eye, while my ears are throughly enjoying every beat. A crowd of backpackers, locals, and wanderers fill the place until it's overflowing onto the street. The atmosphere is filled with good vibes and good people...I feel so at home that for a while I forget I'm even in Thailand.

They were rocking out...didgeridoos and all.

...Of course I was getting down as well...what else would you expect me to be doing?..sitting around? Heck no!

The Art of Eight Limbs

Nikki and I have decided to continue with our Muay Thai training, which I have come to love.

For two straight hours I am physically, mentally, and emotionally pushed to my limits. I have become aware of all aspects of my body and gained a physical confidence that I've never felt before.

Meet my trainer, Happy

Review session

Left and front kicks are my weakness

A Not so Routine Day.

Friday:

8 am-rise and shine...it's another beautiful scorching hot day in Chiang Mai and by the time my feet land on the first floor I'm drenched in sweat. Nikki and I make our way to our usual coffee spot, catching up with friends and family on skype and sipping on our lattes and tea.

12 pm-Stomachs a rumbling, we make our way to lunch and then head in to our internship. Today is a day like any other, we've got our routine down. After our meeting we finish up some work and prepare to end the day, when we are told we get to go on outreach!

5 pm-Outreach. Split into groups of two, we head out to the bars to talk to the women who are working that night. We take sips of our sodas and attempt at using our conversational Thai...which is nit noi (little). Building friendships with these women is essential and our organization is doing an amazing job at it. As the more women come in, so do a few "johns." After inviting the women to a few events at the Garden we pay for our drinks and hug the owner goodbye. Meeting back up with the team we pray for one another and for the women.

8 pm-Nikki and I are sitting around the guest house deciding where to go to eat, when she closes her eyes and points to the map...that's where we shall go. We bargain with the tuk-tuk driver and after a few minutes he finally agrees to our offer of 50 baht (less than $2). Our new adventure lands us on a quaint little dirt road lined with motor bikes. It is now almost 9 and we are starving..we grab some not so good/not so bad Indian food and continue our night.

9 pm-Zoe in Yellow is one of the most delightful cafe/bars I have ever been in. The live band invites you into a quaint room constructed of wooden floors and soft yellow walls, which are illuminated by the soft glow of candles. Old leather sofas sit upon these dusted floors decorated with floral pillows. A cool breeze fills the room from the antique metal fans, tempting you to stay longer. Reminiscent of the beloved Frenchmen street in New Orleans, Zoe's feels like home.

10 pm-While I was throughly enjoying people watching at Zoe in Yellow, the sound of reggae music was calling. Roots, Rocks, Reggae is almost as awesome as their band. Eight Thai musicians on one nit noi stage, makes for a awesome performance. Bell bottom jeans, fro-like hair, and sweet hats, what's not to love! I was ready to dance my butt off, but Nikki would not accompany me on the dance floor. This was probably for the best. While it was a lively young crowd, there were a few old farang men sitting off in the corner, their unwanted eyes staring at who ever got up to dance. But as soon as they left I did get Nikki up to dance for the very last song. Success.

11:30 pm- Nikki and I were getting a bit sleepy...yes, 11:30 is now late for us. We strolled our way to the street, when we ran into Chris (we sat in on a few of his classes at Payap University...I had also previously met him in Chicago at an young leaders conference...small world huh?!). The three of us talked for awhile and then he invited us to meet up with a few of his friends who were two doors down. While very tired, we did want to make friends our age and were curious about what Thai students do on with their weekend nights. We pushed sleep aside and went to Cafe Del Sol. We formerly introduced ourselves to some of the girls we had seen in the classes and listened to another great band (they played Ben Harper and I love them for it). Children continued to try and sell us flowers...I was finally pressured, by and adorable 5 year old, to by his purple lei.

Our entertainment continued by an amazing fire dancer. Spinning the fire on his back the light from the flames revealed tattoos covering his whole body. Wow.

1:30 am-As I thought the night was winding down, it was only truly beginning. Chris invited us to meet up with a few more friends from Payap. Some how we happened to find the next destination...quite a miracle since he only speaks a little more Thai than we do and his phone died. It's funny how in the states I am so attached to my phone and rely on it to get the directions to any place I want to go...here you somehow magically appear at where you need to be. Introductions were made once again and Nikki and I fell in love with his Thai friend Pak. While very much Thai, he has the sarcasm of an American...making for hilarious comments that you would not expect. Needless to say Nikki and I couldn't stop laughing. The name of this lavish red and white establishment is unknown to us since it was written in Thai...I think we were the only farang in there.

2 am-They turned on the lights and were closing up shop, leaving us to making yet another decision on where to go what to do. While still very tired we were throughly enjoying the company of new friends. Nikki and I concluded that it was one night without sleep...we could sleep tomorrow. Fabrique here we come!

2:30 am-Fabrique...where to begin. HOLY STROBE LIGHTS! Padded with white leather walls and black and white checkered floors, Fabrique is close to a fun house. There are three locations to choose from, the outside chill space, with huge pillows and low standing tables, the techno room with strobe lights and ridiculously loud music, and the main room with a live band. I don't know if I'm cut out for the Thai night scene...I felt like an 80 year old women trapped inside a 21 year old body.

Once we moved away from the strobe lights and into the band room I felt a little more at ease. A concoction of 80's pop and today's emo-punk were rocking out on stage...decked out with skinny jeans, spiky hair, sunglasses that could possibly be from star trek, and the keytar...this band was pretty much awesome. We danced, of course and kept laughing to ourselves about our random night with the Thais.

3:30 am-Exhausted from sweating and dancing Nikki and I decided to finally call it a night. Sore from working out, dancing, and lack of sleep climbing the 5 flights of stairs up to our room never felt so difficult.

I think what made this night so great was that we were completely sober...laying in bed reliving our random night we couldn't stop laughing.

re-cap:

Outreach to the bars in the red light district

Quaint cafe that played a mixture of jazz music and had a DJ

Thai reggae band geared up in 70's dress

Fire dancers

Crazy Thai music at a place I cannot pronounce

Fun house like club with techno music, 80's/punk band

This was our Friday night.

4 am-sleep.

Nikki is as Red as a Rose.

Last night, after a much needed massage, Nikki and I decided to treat ourselves to a delicious Italian meal at the restaurant down the street. While I am loving Thai food, my body is craving cheese and pasta. We devoured our bruschetta and awaited our entrees. Listening in on the conversations behind us we concluded that the language we were hearing was French.

Our food quickly arrived and I had an emotional break down over my pasta that was covered in gorgonzola cheese! Tears of joy were forming...a smile extending across my face, this was true bliss! (sigh)...Sorry, I'm having flashbacks...anyways, we finished, paid, and we were about to leave when Mr. French man came gliding over. Placing a red rose at Nikki's side Mr. French man said, "I just simply couldn't resist." A chuckled and slightly awkward "Thank you" was replied as Nikki's face turned a brilliant shade of red. Upon request, we stood up and left...Nikki still embarrassed. We crossed the street, arm in arm, giggling like school girls.

We spent the rest of the night laughing at how immature we acted and I decided our leaving was foolish (It had been apparent that Mr. French man knew the chef)..I wanted free chocolate mousse!

As women living in the states (especially large cities) we have become accustomed to being hit on, approached, cat-called etc. Such compliments become both truly flattering and embarrassing after two months of the silent Thai admiration.

While we did not receive the free dessert I longed for, we did have some good laughs and now have a beautiful rose to bring some color into our dim guest house.

The Modern World is Emerging Through the Cracks in the Sidewalk.

Under the blue fluorescent lighting of 711 I rustle through my wallet and hand the cashier 200 baht. I say, “Kob koon ka,” stuffing the remaining 300 baht and phone cards back into my wallet. As I push open the glass door, I exit the clean air-con convenience store and step onto the dingy uneven sidewalk. I take one step forward, without looking, almost stepping on a young girl sitting Indian style on the tilted surface. “Sa wa dee ka” I say, to no response. I follow the girls bold brown eyes towards the glimmering flat screen television in the bar next door, the American film, Coyote Ugly, is playing while the Thai bar girls flirt with the farang men in the background.

For those who have not seen Coyote Ugly, the film is set in New York’s very own Coyote Ugly bar. Girls in barely there skirts and cutoff tees dance along the bar tops, offering themselves up for body shots, and spraying the drooling men with beer. Famous for a rowdy good time, that you won’t remember the next morning, Coyote Ugly is most guys’ fantasy…well, according to the movie it is.

Thailand is quickly emerging into the modern western world. The sounds of The Eagles, Akon, and Brittany Spears flood the bars and restaurants. The shopping mall is blazon with advertisements to be lighter skinned, thinner, and smell delicious.

From the time Thai children can walk and hold objects in hand they are out on the streets selling flowers, to help make money for their families. This puts them at an extremely high risk for being sexually exploited. This girl sitting in front of the bar is trying to make roughly10-20 baht per flower (about 50 cents). What happens when a farang man comes along and offers her 500 baht (about $15) to come with him for an hour? Put yourself in her shoes, your family is the most important thing to you and they are barely scrapping by, this man is offering you more money for 1 hour than you would make in a night. What would you do as someone who is only 4-10 years old?

As this girl watches Coyote Ugly she begins to see these women almost as role models…they are beautiful. I’m not going to lie back in middle school I wanted to look just like them. The difference is this young girl doesn’t see the act. The girls in the movie are acting; the women in the bars are acting. While make up and high heels appear to be glamorous, their lives are far from it.

As I looked into this young girls’ eyes I could see her life laid out right in front of her.

It’s a short distance to travel from selling flowers to selling your body.

Training Day.

Today Nikki and I had our first class in Muay Thai fighting. Here is the result.

Home is in the Red Light District.

On Monday morning Nikki and I packed up our bags in DoiSaket and moved into the heart of one of Chiang Mai’s red light districts.

We climbed the five flights of stairs to our sterile, melancholy room, which we will inhabit for the next 3 weeks. As I pulled the dusted, cream-colored curtains open, our view of Chiang Mai was revealed in a not so charming way. Tangled wires are strung from house to house; the gritty bars/massage parlors perched below them. The moisture dripping from the clouds clings to every air molecule. Similar to the issues we are dealing with, our view of Chiang Mai is a cluttered mess.

Every morning we walk down the road, past the gated bars, massage parlors, and store fronts, for our morning workout and breakfast. The street is still sleeping from the night before…silence. This road has a much different feel to it in the morning light; it looks as any other road. As the sun lazily ascends into the sky, so do the people. Shopkeepers open their doors, you can smell the aroma of food, and there is the buzzing sound of tuk tuks bringing the young girls back to their bars…thinking about their last night whereabouts is too much to take in.

Walking down the road begins to feel more and more familiar. I love it during the day…it has an “everyone knows your name” quality about it, now. “Sa wa dee ka, Sabai dee mai ka’s?” are exchanged with our two favorite smoothie women. They help us with our Thai; we help them with their English, although they really don’t need the help. I don’t even have to order anymore. One papaya shake (mai la go pahn) to go. This is our neighborhood. We continue our hellos as we proceed back to our guesthouse. After a refreshing shower and our air con room, we head out to lunch at a few of our usual spots and it’s off to our internship. The day goes by quickly and before you know it, the sun is asleep and the street is alive.

We make our usual walk back to the guesthouse, only this time it’s much more difficult to bear. The dim bars and women who are captive behind them, are now illuminated. They are dolled up in short skirts and thick eye makeup, their sadness locked away behind their lipstick smiles. I have made it a point to look straight ahead, only glancing to the left to say hello to some of the women. I look no further than the entrance of these bars for fear that I will curse out the “Johns.” I have become quite spiteful of these “farang” (foreign) men and their actions. Men, who could be my father or even my grandfather, are paying for rape.

We call it an early evening, most nights, falling asleep to the sounds of American hip-hop/pop music and the rowdiness of the bars beneath. As we rise, the next morning, the street will be asleep once again.

This is our neighborhood, this is our home.