The 3rd

It sneaks upon me every year. No matter how hard I push it to the back of my mind it always finds its way into my thoughts. It begins the week before and carries on until the day after...no matter how hard I try. 

I sometimes wonder what it would be like...how life would be different. How we would make a cake eat ribs and sing happy birthday. Life would be normal. We would talk and laugh. Eat and drink. Celebrate rather than cry. Instead of remembering the good times we would be enjoying them here an now. Instead of reflecting we would be looking to the future. 

That can't happen and we must accept that. For now we must remember and reflect until the day that we can be together again. 

My Heart is in New Orleans

This past spring break I had an amazing opportunity to go to N.O.L.A. It was the best experience of my life and even that is an understatement. Around this time 3 years ago Katrina struck New Orleans and washed away the lives of many people. Now Hurricane Gustav is on his way in to claim the city for himself. Even though government officials and non-profits are preparing in advance this time there's no telling what damage Gustav will do. 

The way I feel about New Orleans can be compared to a mother and her child. I feel this overwhelming desire to swoop in and try to save it. I feel as if I'm abandoning the people and the city if I don't go. The people down there became apart of my family and I don't want to lose them. I'm sure that many of the people who were on the trip have similar feelings...Nawlins just felt like home. I have a connection with that city and it holds my heart. I now have a better understanding about why the people don't want to leave....to be honest I probably wouldn't either. It's more than just a city..it's a culture..it's home...it's family. 

 

They are in my thoughts prayers and more importantly in my heart. 

I need to powder my nose..

After the last post as soon as I shut my computer it began to rain. I packed up my stuff and thought "hm...what to do with three fountains and rain?".....jump in them of course!! They were mini little spouts of water kind of fountains but fountains nonetheless! So then I kept walking and saw the Alamo ate ice cream and walked along the river. The River Walk reminds me of Venice+The Chicago River+The French Quarter and has every restaurant imaginable!

One complaint that I do have about San Antonio is the lack of bathrooms. As I was driving today I had to pee so bad I considered peeing my pants. I kept saying to myself that a rest area or gas station would appear very soon. Well after saying this to myself for 25 min I was fed up and had to pee on the side of the road...don't get me wrong I love to pee outside and be one with nature..but really get some rest areas out there. The second time I had trouble with the lack of bathrooms was at the river walk. The one and only public restroom was gated off! When I finally returned to the parking garage I saw a gleaming door that said Women's...seriously it was gleaming. As I'm walking towards it my hand is on the knob when this guy tells me I shouldn't use it. WHAT! Why the hell not it's a bathroom. He told me that people go in there to do drugs and it's pretty messy...I say "I've peed in worse I'm sure" I go in and yes he was right it was definitely messy. I tip toed around the pee and realized he wasn't lying. I glanced over and saw syringes...needless to say I peed really fast and got the hell out of there. 

There was one nice bathroom. It was at a gas station off of 281 and this place was the bathroom of all bathrooms...the stalls were freaking HUGE! I do believe they were the size of my room. But hey it's like I said earlier...everything is bigger in Texas. 

Sorry for rambling on about peeing so much but it really felt like the theme of the day.

p.s. I have never seen so many people being arrested or talking to cops about someone who should be arrested than I have in the 5 hours I was in downtown S.A. 

Everything's bigger in Texas....

So I have officially made it back to San Antonio...in 3 1/2 hours this time. I am currently sitting in a beautiful little park surrounded by fountains with a gorgeous old church in the background. The humidity is finally starting to dissipate and a sweet little breeze has found it's way through the buildings. Perfection.

I just had the most amazing meal consisting of blackened mahi mahi rice pilaf grilled veggies topped off with a glass of pinot grigio. I am so content and relaxed after a hectic 5 days. I don't know if it's the breeze or the wine but I could fall asleep right here under this tree. 

This is the perfect time and spot to reflect on my trip and I would first like to thank the city of San Antonio for providing me with free internet right now. 

"We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves.

....We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes." -Aldous Huxley (Doors of Perception)

I guess the first thing that comes to mind when I think about this trip is learning how to work with people. My roommate (the one I wanted to shove cotton balls in her mouth) Mary Jean could possibly be the most frustrating person I have every met. On one occasion I counted how many seconds she could go without talking....She averaged at 2 sec. and went as long as 17 sec. I found myself becoming increasingly impatient with her and considered smothering her with my pillow one night. The thing is she actually had pretty good stories to tell. After giving birth and raising two mentally handicapped sons she enrolled in college for journalism at the age of 31. (she graduated in 2 years and made it on the dean's list). She has written for magazines newspapers and is currently writing a book. After her son died she gained 60 lbs. To lose the weight she has walked 7 miles everyday since then. At the age of 62 she climbed a mountain in Utah..by herself. She now goes to disasters around the country. 

I guess when I finally really began to learn patience and empathy was when she talked about her son who died. I thought of this saying in Italian L'ho provato sulla mia pelle. Translates to "I have experienced that in my own skin" (I'm considering it as a tatoo option)I to have lost someone close to me. Since these people on this trip are much older than I they have a long history or story to tell. Instead of being frustrated with her I should have maybe realized that she needed someone to talk to..who wasn't family. I felt a little guilty leaving this morning so I left her a note. I wished her good luck on her journeys and told her I hoped to see her again.....which I sincerely mean. I left my email address and I do hope she contacts me. 

I love my chosen major even more now and I am so thankful for the opportunity to come down here. Most of the time I felt useless and over the course of 5 days I really only put in 12 hours of work. I didn't gain any new knowledge of using their computer system but I am leaving here with (I feel) a bigger heart....I guess everything is bigger in Texas. 

peace love and a sprinkle of patience 

"'Cause I got Music, and it makes me feel alright..."

I've compiled a few songs to go onto my "Last Minute Trip to Texas" Soundtrack...if you so choose you can sing along with me. 

In Transit-Albert Hammond Jr.

Music-The Beautiful Girls

With My Own Two Hands and She's Only Happy In the Sun-Ben Harper

Chan Chan-Buena Vista Social Club

If You're Going to San Francisco-The Byrds

Peace Train-Cat Stevens

Title and Registration-Death Cab For Cutie

Here We Go-Dispatch

Seven Bridges Road and Take it Easy-The Eagles

Tiny Dancer-Elton John 

The Golden Road Truckin' Friend of The Devil-Grateful Dead

Do You Remember and Better Together-Jack Johnson

Castles Made Of Sand-Jimi Hendrix

Instant Karma!(We all shine on) John Lennon

Free Bird and Tuesdays Gone-Lynard Skynard

New York City and Nebraska-Moe

Plateau and Oh, Me-Nirvana

Down Home Girl-Old Crow Medicine Show

Hoist(the whole album)Farmhouse (the whole album)Jesus left Chicago and Run Like an Antelope-Phish

Around the World and Road Trippin'-Red Hot Chili Peppers

Shine Come as Melody Tuesday-Trey Anastasio

Women Wine and Song End of the Road The Bottom Half In the Kitchen-Umphrey's Mcgee

Classic Situation-Yonder Mountain String Band

Between the Lines-Whipple Tree Band

Papa's in the Bathroom and The Garden, Pt. 3-Tea Leaf Green

Leaving Trunk-Taj Mahal

The Way We Get By-Spoon

....enjoy

Coffees my drug of choice

still sitting...sitting and waiting and drinking waaaayy too much coffee. I brought 4 books on this trip...I just finished one and I want to start another but I have had waaaayy too much coffee to sit still and concentrate. I think I can feel the blood moving through my veins. It's flowing pumping moving running streaming through my veins. I'm only used to coffee on Sundays..not Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday. I've cut back on the creamer and the sugar and now I'm almost drinking it straight. Straight black and strong. 

.....I need more coffee.  

Kicking some TexAss

So apparently we're doing a great job and they're beginning to send people home. The only thing is is that hurricane Gustav is heading this way. Now they need to decide who stays who goes and who gets re-deployed. Gustav is only a category one so far and the winds have gone from 75 mph to 70 mph. Bad news is that we're expecting torrential down pour for the next week. So now we're all patiently waiting with our eyes glued to the weather channel. The humidity here is 91%. holy hell.

...I also met today the only other college student on this trip! I thought hell yeah I'm not alone after all!!...then he told me he was being out processed to go back to Boston!

My Friend Rodney

I met my friend Rodney (Rod) today as I was about to head back to my hotel room. I was really looking forward to the hour drive.. alone.. with my music when Rod asked me if he could drive with me. Crash. There goes my hour alone to just relax.. to speed.. to go anywhere by myself. I had a very bad attitude about the whole situation.

So we got in the car and headed onto 83 east. We talked about the usual..work..school..family. But then we started having really good conversations...mostly about traveling. He had some really good stories and not only knows a member from Fleetwood Mac but also a really famous author (Steven E...crap I just blanked on the last name but he died about two years ago and one of his books has a connection to Saving Private Ryan). Anyways he asked me to drive him to the bank and as I was about to head back to the hotel he asked if I wanted to go to Olive Garden...umm...hell yeah! Its the first meal I've had in 3 days. (Red Cross Volunteers diet consists of coffee coffee COFFEE!!) So we got dinner and it was so amazing I thought I'd explode.

Rod has skin that almost looks like someone molded him out of wax..he has droopy little brown eyes that are shielded by silver glasses. He has gray/white hair a slight over bite and a round belly. He has an Italian wife and loves her cooking. They travel everywhere together.

.....my friend Rodney.

No Hablo Espanol...

So I realized today that not only am I the minority at the Red Cross Headquarters but also the minority here in the southern most part of Texas. I don't speak Spanish and I'm not apart of a gang.... apparently I'm in gang central. I've been advised not to walk anywhere. When it really truly hit me though was when I was trying to talk to Guadalupe Garcia-Garaz via phone....he immediately hung up on me when I said "yo hablo no ingles?"...so wrong. What I meant to say was "Entiende el ingles?" I tried a few more times to speak Spanish to the clients but they weren't amused or understanding anything I was saying...I've a feeling I'm not in Texas anymore.

Something I have succeeded at doing while I've been here is teaching these Texicans how to drive. You see they tend to drive at least

15-20 mph under the limit and I tend to drive 15-20 mph over the limit...this creates a small problem. To fix this I have come up with a little lesson plan. When they're in my left lane (the speeding lane) I ride up on their ass..when they look in the rearview mirror and give me the look of "what the heck..why is this girl riding so close to me?" I give them a nod to the right...I sometimes have to nod a few times for them to understand and when they finally move over I smile nod my head in approval and drive on by. Congrats on passing Left Lane Etiquette.

5 hours of sleep each night is not enough for me

I have a roommate........I want to shove cotton balls in her mouth. 

Road Trippin'

When I thought I'd be taking a mini road trip I was thinking more along the lines of 2-3 hours...I was wrong. Roma Texas is about 5-6 hours south of San Antonio. In my opinion it should be considered Mexico.

So I hopped in my new little red suv with my pack of V-8 Virginia Slims (I remember why I don't smoke...there are too many reasons to name)animal crackers and headed down 281. I was in good spirits I set all the radio presets to the stations that played the best music had the wind blowing in my face and was ready to conquer Texas.

As I past Corpus Christi song #2 for the soundtrack came on...Bidi Bidi Bom Bom by Selena (may she rest in peace). At this moment I came up with the idea of naming my car (triggered by a scene in the movie Selena..."Selenasis car") I was having some difficulty thinking of a name until I past a sign for a town name Falfurrias (I like to say it with an Italian accent...roll the r's it's fun!). I instantly starting laughing so hard that I almost peed myself...

another town that made me almost pee my pants was Glass Cock hahaha okay so I'm really tired..or just really immature. But anyways back to Falfurria...It's a small town about 2 hours outside of San Antonio...when I say small I mean small...the population was about the size of my high school. So little Falfurria and I ventured into town just to check it out...it reminded me a lot of New Orleans probably because it was a ghost town. I think that's why I liked it so much.

I spent the rest of my time singing..talking to my car..almost crashing my car...driving in the sun...driving in the rain...killing approximately 600 butterflies and one lizard....and planning my next road trip.

At 4:24pm I arrived at the headquarters! I walked in and felt a little out of place...and it wasn't because I didn't have my red cross vest on. I am by far the youngest person down here...by about 35-40 years! Thank God I have a small patch of gray hair growing on the side of my head...I will be making sure those hairs stick up for the next 2 weeks. After talking to about 6 different people trying to figure out what the hell I should be doing I met Joanne who pretty much kicks ass. She's about 75 years old and is taking charge like nobody's business. She filled me in on everything to know and by this time it was 6:30...I was getting pretty damn tired so I found out what hotel I would be staying at....I'm the only one staying an hour away from headquarters. But it is all good my dear friends because now I get to continue spending time with Falfurria and singing to myself...also word on the street is that this hotel has the best free breakfast buffet!

Well it's been a long adventurous day and also one of the best but I am off to bed!

Peace Out

Daybreak Breakfast

I am sitting...sitting sitting sitting. After sitting for 45 min I start to think that this guy left me and went to headquarters without me. I walk to the front desk.."Was there a man from Red Cross that checked out?"..."No Red Cross members checked in after you last night." 

I call Crystal..."They said the man never checked in."..."I was afraid of that, you should go back to the airport and pick up the car."..."I'm only 20."..."oh dear, well I'll see if anyone is flying in today and maybe they could pick you up. I'll call you back." 

10 min later....I CAN RENT THE CAR! chicka chicka yea!! Road trip to the valley by myself with some kick ass Texas music!..This keeps getting better and better

hotel #1

7 am...I just saw my first Texas sunrise and it was beautiful. 

I'm about to go meet another red cross member who I've never met before and I have no idea what his name is or what he looks like. I really hope the guy at the front desk last night remembered to give him my message. If he didn't it could make for a very interesting day for myself. This man is my only way to the the headquarters and to the valley. 

peace and love from room 105

Thai Fable

Makalee Pons are strange female beings which are born from magical trees exist only in Himmapan Forest. The strange tree would yield fruits, and Makalee Pon would come out of these fruits once they are rippen. 

15 minutes from San Antonio

I am currently sitting at gate 25 in Austin Texas. I should be on my way to my hotel in San Antonio but because of weather mechanical problems and lack of fuel I am here. After sitting on the plane for a few hours and almost throwing up on the way down it feels more than amazing to be able to walk around! I feel very grateful for this little layover because I don't think I could have made it through dodging lighting bolts and circling above my destination multiple times over. 

Goodbye Chicago Hello Heart of Texas

"Imagine all the people"...these are the first words that I hear as I exit the blue line and enter into the airport. It seems perfectly fitting for the trip that I am about to take. Song #1 for my "Last Minute Trip to Texas" Soundtrack...Imagine.

I'm not a writer by any means and I hate punctuation because I suck at knowing where to put the comma or colon or semi colon...I choose not to use any. I didn't even really know what a blog was until the past year or two. Many of my friends blog and I'm intimidated by their eloquent way with words. But here I am sitting at gate K4 anticipating my trip and beginning one of my own. I didn't make this decision to create blog but rather was persuaded by a good friend of mine. She told me she wanted to stay updated with my day to day happenings while I'm gone. Of course she moves back to the city the weekend that I'm deployed to Texas!...I miss her something terrible.

As I'm sitting here it's finally hitting me that I am about to walk onto a plane. HOLY CRAP! This is a bit overwhelming. I am going to San Antonio where I've never been before I know no one and I have no idea where I'm staying or what I'm going to be doing. I find the thought of entering the plane more terrifying than I do about my undetermined trip.

Planes freak me out...freak me out!